From Dope Fiend 2 Son of a King
Written By: Bryon L. Johnson
Speaking of bootlegger and serving drunkards, I clearly remember one night I was sitting at the table doing my homework and there was a couple there buying drinks and helping with my homework. Shortly, after I found out that they were the police doing an undercover sting operation. Needless to say, my mom caught herself a charge that night and I had to go the neighbors until she got bonded out.
Shaped in Iniquity
When I was young my mother was a pretty dark skin lady that wore glasses, and had a core bottle shape. The problem was that she didn’t love herself. So, her life consisted of a continuous flow of boyfriends moving in and out of our house. Many of them were friends and most of them seemed not to like me much. What’s amazing about the memory is that I can remember all of them in which most of them died prematurely. In them times most of her boyfriend’s drink that syrup. Know that syrup that’s in the brown bottle that makes you nod uncontrollably. These guys were bums and were just using her for sex and a place to stay. These guys were afraid of my dad because he was known for stabbing and shooting. However, he stays locked up most of the time. I guess they all thought it was a good idea to talk trash and to hit on me while not forgetting to tell me to tell your daddy. Majority of these guys were verbal and physically abusive to my mom. Over the years, I’ve seen my mom take many beatings and although often I jumped in I was totally out matched by these men. At a very young age my nerves were shot and it manifested in my stomach regularly. Many of nights I sat up and cried with momma. Usually she was hurt because they left despite what they did and I was happy that they left. I remember saying, “momma don’t worry about him, all we need is us, momma.” I would say, “momma don’t let him back in because he hurt you”, but momma was lonely and always felt she needed a MAN. Momma wanted a man so much that she would even put me out the house to please them. At those times, I would walk to my grandma Margaret’s house who lived in the same projects that I did not far away.
At momma Margaret’s house, I ate breakfast, lunch and dinner something I wasn’t used too. At grandma’s house, we went to church and she taught us about Jesus. At grandma’s house, I had a heap of cousins to play with. The one thing that I most noticed at grandma’s house is that I felt loved. Grandma had a way of making everyone feel like they were the special one. I remember one day grandma asked me if I would like to live with her and I immediately said, “yes.” Somehow my mom found out and asked me about it while crying and saying that they were trying to take me away from her. I remember her crying and saying how much she loved me and needed me then told me that if I loved her that I would stay with her. In other words, she made me feel horrible forever considering leaving although I knew from a very young age that she loved partying and men more than she ever love me.
Well, one thing is for sure I vowed that as soon as I get a little bit older her boyfriends won’t talk trash and get in my face anymore or else they would surely pay. I must tell you I kept to my word whole heartedly. At age 13 years old I bought my first gun and immediately I gained much confidence. Doing that young age I was selling drugs, stealing cars and getting high.
Shaped in Iniquity
At this time my court is where all the money is being made in our projects. Along with that money came a lot of problems and murders that no young man should witness. Being without a father present I looked to the older hustlers for guidance and advice. This is where my life took a major turn with robbing, doing heroin, coke and chasing young girls. I so much want to be like them because they made it look so good and so rewarding that I couldn’t resist. The new clothes, cars and jewelry baited me in like animals in route to a trap. I never thought I would use heroin but they told me about how long you could have sex and in my vulnerability concerning my inability to last long while having sex caused me to indulge. Needless to say, a dope fiend was born. Love at first sniff. My father was a dope fiend so immediately I knew I woke up a sleeping giant that came through my bloodline.
From that point on I started to figure out ways to try to get away. During one of my court appearances for stolen cars I asked the judge if I could be sentenced to Job Corps and he agreed.
Now I’m in Flatwoods Job Corps and every time I call home my momma is telling me she needs me home and making me feel guilty for being away as if I am her man. Not to mention that I had a girlfriend back in Norfolk who I thought of often although I knew it was out of sight, out of mind for her. Not long after I left Job Corps and headed back to Grandy Park.
Stayed with mom a few months and I decided to go to live with my uncle in Woodbridge, VA. My intent was to go back to school and to do things right. However, soon after I arrived there my uncle was busted for selling drugs and the funny thing about that is nobody knew he sold drugs, at least I didn’t. With my uncle locked up and me being in a place where I didn’t know anyone I went back home and got my homeboy “O”, and we headed back to Woodbridge with coke and a plan to get money. I think it’s worth mentioning that the entire time I was in Woodbridge whenever I talked to my mom she made me feel bad about not being home by telling me how much she needed me. Whether I was attempting to do good or bad when I was away she always asked me to come back to that war zone.
Well I come back home at age 17 years old and my mom introduce me to the neighbor who is 24 years old. The next thing you know she’s pregnant with her 5th child, thanks mom.
Now at this time my heart has grown cold and I have allowed m negative experiences to shape me. Because of the frequent changes of men by my mom my perspective of women has been twisted and I have lost respect for women as a whole. I have allowed the men in my momma’s life to cause my heart to change into a heart of stone and now at any sign of disagreement I’m ready for war. In jail, I would say, “I’m trained to go.” I’m a young ticking time bomb with no love and no respect for authority brought on by the repeated abuse caused by people who should’ve protected me but instead they exposed me to the enemy.
Chapter 3
Me and Pops
In my earliest memories of Sammy Lucas my daddy the all consist of visiting him in prisons. In those times, Tina Childs was his girlfriend. Dad also had a child by Tina by the name of Marcus. Tina Childs was very nice to me and for years she would come get me on weekends so that we could take that long ride to whatever prison Dad was in at that time. I remember taking food and drinks to the prison to eat while we visited Sam. Tina seemed to enjoy her visit with Sam but I think that she enjoyed Marcus and I bonding together more. Marcus was an only child needless to say he was spoiled beyond measure. During them times he had every toy you could imagine. I can’t help but to remember that his ears were incredibly big. Through the years his body eventually caught up with his ears though.
After these brief memories of Sam in m adolescences the next thing I remember is he got released when I was at the life changing age of 17 years old.
At the age of 17 years old I encounter the Lord for myself. It was on the block where I met Jesus. I had been laying low because my friend had pulled out a gun on the biggest drug dealer in our neighborhood. The problem was, it was my gun and the dealer knew it belonged to me and not to mention the fact that I was present when it happened. This dealer responded by having his workers along with his cousin from New York to look for us. Immediately after the incident I dropped him off out Brambleton and I return to the park to my house and kind of stayed in for a couple of weeks. I heard that the New York boy was looking for us and that he was walking around with what appeared to be a machine gun or something. Finally, I got tired of hiding and came out and plus these were my projects. Anyways, I was born and raised in Grandy Park. So, the day that I got tired of hiding I started walking through the circle in the front of the park. It was there that a minister by the name of Gregory Perry approached me about my external standing. On the spot, I begun to weep and accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour. In an instant I stopped getting high, drinking, hustling and smoking cigarettes. God had delivered me in a dramatic way.
I must mention that although God had delivered me from so much I continued to shack or fornicate whatever one you prefer me to say, whenever you give the devil an inch he will take a mile. I gave him a foothold and eventually it turns into a stronghold which in turn kept me in a choke hold. Gregory Perry had given me job for a cleaning service at the shipyard. I had a group of brothers who were fresh in this new walk, just as I was. We all fellowshipped, hanging out and worked together. We shared our experiences to as we grew together as we encouraged one another. It was during this period that my Dad was released from prison. When my Dad first got out he was attending church and speaking about God also. I don’t know how long it was but shortly after his release he decided that he wanted to get high and I was right along with him. I probably had been clean about 6 months and he had been clean some time since he was fresh out of the pin I’m assuming. Pops had a lot of pull on the streets so he could pretty much get what he wanted from anyone. On this day, we got about 5 or 6 bags free from this New York kid name Knowledge. We were creeping and sneaking all the back to Zo house. We went upstairs and he started getting his works and stuff together so he could shoot his dope while I sniffed mines. Like a pro, I sniff mines and went to the bathroom to put some water n my nose so I could catch a drain and I wasn’t two minutes after I got back that Pops went out. That’s right first shot and he overdose. I totally panicked and didn’t know what to do. I yelled downstairs to Zo and said something wrong with Sam and from downstairs she yelled up, “Bryon don’t tell me that he was getting high in which I responded, “He wasn’t getting high.” However, it was obvious that he was getting high because I didn’t clean up. He still had the needle out, bags out, spoon out and he was out. Zo went straight into medic mode and you could clearly tell that she done this a time or two before. Sam chest was swelling pretty big and it wasn’t looking good. I call the paramedics and Zo worked on him until they came. Needless to say, that the entire neighborhood was outside as they wheeled him to the vehicles, I guess true what they say, “What’s done in the dark will come to the light.” After that near-death experience, we never went back to church. For me I think the shame kept me from repenting and going back to the house of the Lord.
Me and Pops
We were both off to the race’s, chasing dope and hustling. Next thing you know we were robbing together. The first one I remember clearly, I was in the back of the park and Sam pulled the gun on a dude who was trying to score. After he pulled the gun out I punch the guy in the face and knocked him down. My reason was that I didn’t want Sam to shoot him, he was known for that. Then after we got him and go to a safe place, Sam said “yea Bre you did a good job.” It was at that very moment for the first time in my life that I could remember that my pops publicly acknowledged that he was proud of me. On that day, I took a mental note as to what I had to do to get my father to affirm me. I pursued that street cred fervently and acknowledgement from Sam from that day forth.
Me and Pops
It wasn’t too long before we went from robbing together to he was robbing me. I guess there’s no honor among thieves.
We were right next door to my house 2937 Kimball Terrace and evidently, I ended up being the only one with dope and I didn’t get the memo. For some reason, everybody and their momma was in the court that day. Sam, asked for some dope and I said I couldn’t afford it because I had to get money to pay rent. At that time, I had an apartment out the Heights by the grill with my girlfriend. My son and the rest of her kids. I told Sam I didn’t have it and the next thing you know I was staring down the back of his gun while he was saying, “Bre I’ll kill you.” On this day, I learned love no one because even your biological father will get you. I think I was more hurt from the fact that he did this in front of everyone so it clearly sent a message and made me look pretty worthless. I remember making up my mind that I was going to kill him besides I had two guns in my car. First, I went in the house and told my mom and while telling her I cried like a baby from the pain of being betrayed which would take years too totally get over.
Me and Pops
I had been in jail for about 6 months or so and one day my dad walk the gates on the 5th floor. Immediately I saw him and went over to holla at him. Without thought I gave him my bunk and I slept on the floor do to the overcrowding of the jail. I must say that it was weird being locked up with your father when you have no memories of sharing a house together and now we were sharing a cell together. As crazy as it seems, I was excited about spending time with him while doing time. We started playing chess, then he began to get dope sick as all heroin addicts do. Later that evening the nurse came around and she slipped him something. As soon as he took whatever it was that she gave him he started tripping out. Pops was seeing things, looking into space and talking like a little kid. He couldn’t even talk or walk on his own. We yelled for the deputy and carried him to the gate where they took over to take him to the medical floor.
The next time I seen him was months later. I was in the Christian block and he was just walking by. We engaged briefly before he had to go. It was only a matter of time before DOC would come to get me considering I was sentenced to 7 ½ years.
Chapter 4
Caught a Case
It’s August 4, 1993 @ 6:30pm when I caught my first case on 2900 block of Kimball Terrace in Grandy Park. In the court where it all goes down. The spot where all the hustlers, boosters, pimps, gamblers, prostitutes and plucks hangout or at least come through.
Its early in the morning because I had a motto, “the early bird gets the worm.” I was out there early trying to make a dollar and little did I know that the bicycle police where heavy and active on that morning. I guess “the early bird gets the worm was there motto also.” I’m in the court waiting on folks to come through to score, a few had come through and it seem like it was going to be a good day. All of a sudden, the bikes roll up on me from everywhere. I take flight straight through the court. As I approach the end of the court I jumped the fence while at the same time tossing a bundle of dope into a car that had people sitting in it. In hopes of them pulling with the diesel. Evidently, they didn’t pull off because when the police finally caught me they had that dope also. I continue running across the street through Kimball Court. I hopped the fence by Mrs. Rose house. Mrs. Rose was the candy lady I knew her kids, grandkids and her big dogs. After I jumped the fence I was now in the maze, I was very familiar with the maze because that’s where my Grandma Margaret lived. I ran into a house that used to be Anna’s, everyone knew Anna and her kids KitaBoo, Fat’s and Tomeka were the girls. She no longer lived there anymore and here I am running up in someone’s house who I don’t know. I told the people I would pay them then I ran upstairs to hide. Honestly, I totally forgot I had crack in my pocket so I didn’t even attempt to flush it. The police kept yelling from downstairs to come out with my hands up and come downstairs. Needless to say, I never did. If they were going to get me they would have to come and get me in which they did. The officers brought me downstairs, took me out on the back porch begun to search me while proceeding to put handcuffs on me. Everyone seemed to be outside but I remember Ms. Ida Mae clearly. Ms. Ida Mae was my mother’s friend and her son Face was my best friend. She was yelling at the police to make sure they didn’t rough me up too bad. Even during them times the police had a tendency too rough us young guys up from time to time. The officers talk to the squad car and take me to the P.O.C. on Virginia Beach Blvd. While at the station they did their usual good cop, bad cop routine.
They do this in hopes that someone would snitch but that quickly found out they had the wrong one as far as that’s concerned. While at the police station I was mad at myself however at the same time I was proud because I had money in my safe to bond out.
I get to the jail in the booking area and I see Reggie so I said, “What up” to him. Reggie grew up in our neighborhood but choose the right path, he was a deputy in the jail who worked in booking. It was in booking where I began to feel dope sick. I made a call to my mom from there. I now had the great task of getting my safe from Yvette’s house to my mom’s house where the key to the safe was. After a few calls I just about gave up, my stomach was hurting, I was spitting up the lining of my stomach, my back was hurting and everything I smelt stunk really bad. I was lying on the floor under the phone because the cell block was overcrowded. Sweating and irritated I noticed that all the fellas from around the way was in that block. I remember seeing Phil, Ralph, Pee-Wee and Skipper from around the way. Ralph offered me chocolate and stuff to try to ease the kicking process.
I’m not sure what the chocolate did if anything at all. Next thing I hear is Bryon Johnson B&B. B&B was a term the deputies used to let you know you were leaving. It stands for Bag & Bags. The sweetest sound you could ever hear. On the following month, September 1993 approximately around the same date I got busted again. You know the location Kimball Terrace in the projects of Grandy Park.
This time the charges were reversed. I was charged with Distribution of Heroin and Possession of Cocaine. This time I was so high I didn’t even try to get rid of the crack because I forgot all about it.
I’m back in the jail going through the same withdraws and affects. However, this time there’s no money in the safe. In fact, I didn’t have much money at all because since I got out on bond I been getting high more than ever. I probably contributed it the pressure of the case of whatever but the fact of the matter was I was a dope fiend. So, with the money to post another 10,000 bond I had to get my Mom to get in contact with my Dad. That was going to be a task because my Dad and most of all the hustlers in my neighborhood were in Texas to see Sweet Pea Whitaker fight. It was about a week before my Dad sent a bondsman to get me out.
Once again, I was called for B&B. I got downstairs and the bondsman told me your Dad said for me to give you a ride home. I was thinking to myself, this won’t look good at all. A white man giving me a ride to the hood after I just got busted so I got him to drop me off in Chesterfield Heights so I could walk to the park. As soon as I got to the park I see Derick in the back of the court. I asked him to hook me up, he did and I was off to the races again.
I had Danny Shipley on both cases. At that time, he was an up and coming lawyer. He carried some weight of the streets for dope cases. On my first charge I was sentenced to 2 years with 2 years suspended and 2 years’ probation.
On my second case I received 5 years with 5 years suspended with 2 years’ probation. On both cases I took a plea deal.
January 5, 1994 I was placed officially on probation after the plea deals on November 19, 1993.
By March of 1994 I was back in jail for armed robbery and possession of a firearm by a convicted felon.
After this time my addiction totally had the best of me and I was going down fast. I thought I could stick-up a young drug dealer and get away but in the case the streets were talking. Eventually I pleaded guilty to Larceny from the person and received 5 years with all suspended but 6 months.
Needless to say, this violated me on my previous cases so they gave me all my time from both cases. I ended up with 7 years 6 months to serve in the State Penitentiary.
Here I am, seems like destiny fulfilled. Momma always told me I would be like my Daddy. Neighborhood expected this of me. Some even prophesied it and spoke death over my life. Most of my friends were in here, just getting out or on their way.
At the time, I entered the jail it was filled with drugs. Anything you wanted was there. Guys walking around high as gas. This was eye opening to me. First bid I haven’t left the jail yet and I see a young dude get turnt out. I made up in my mind a long time ago that would never be my testimony and walk in that truth today.
In the beginning, I partook in getting high, gambling and fighting. As a matter of fact, I got my lip busted in the jail and had to go to the community hospital for stitches.
It wasn’t all bad though because I filled out a request to get into the Christian Block that was pretty new. I believe God drew me to this decision because most guys at the time chose not to go because of reputation but I felt a power that was drawing me and I didn’t want to resist.
Once I begun to engage in the lessons, activities, groups and prayers I knew that this is where I belong. It was in this place that I really discovered God for myself and no longer worshipped the God of my grandmother. Almost immediately I begun to dream and have visions from God. I prayed fervently day and night and I enjoyed it. I lived discussing the scriptures and listening to tapes concerning the gospel. When I would read the Bible, I would escape jail for the moment and find myself inside the stories in the Bible as an on looker. In these dreams or visions I could smell, taste, feel and behold all that it offered. For the first time in my life I had peace, even in the midst of a storm. This was the place I had been searching for in my spirit. Never imagined I would find it behind bars. For the first time in my life I felt satisfied and loved.
Once I begun to realize that my 6 months were up and I was about to complete the program anxiety overtook me. I knew I had to go back to the cell block were survival was the only thing on your mind. A place where every minute of the day someone was trying to get over on you.
After I entered back into regular population my fire was quickly burnt out. I found it true that bad communication corrupts good behavior. The darkness the once oppressed me was back and perhaps even stronger. Every man in there was pronouncing death over themselves and others. Poison from their tongues rolled off at a rapid rate.
Before you knew it, I was back gambling, cussing and fighting stronger than before. I believed that the demon came back with 7 more even stronger then him. My latter was worse than my former.
It wasn’t to longer before I heard B&B. Today, was the day that I would take that ride to prison. My destination was Indian Creek receiving or intake. On this day about 6 of us arrived to be processed. There was one Chinese guy, guy from Newport news whose parents own stores there. Everybody from the park was on this spread. Champ was in receiving with me. In which would come in handy later. At some point in my time there some guys thought I stole something and while I was on the toilet they tried to rush me but Champ came in the restroom in a nick of time. He must had known what was going on because I had no clue. My man Frashon was there. We were close and had went to school together all the way until we got put out in middle school for fighting.
On Indian Creek, there were plenty drugs so needless to say, “I was back getting high.” After about 6 months there I was told to pack my bags I was being shipped to another prison. After boarding the bust we took this long ride in the wee hours of the morning. When I look up we are at Powtan where there were many buses with hundreds of inmates on them shackled hand and foot. This is where we all got off and changed buses to whatever location we were going. For some reason this reminded me of slaves being transported. I changed buses and took another long ride until I reached Camp 4 Baskerville, VA.
Once on Camp 4 quickly I realized I know a lot of guys on this camp. I was greeting by my cousin Tyrone, Vic, Lil Pat, Barry, Shawn, Ghost and Me-Me from the park.
I didn’t like this prison because of the clay like dirt that made everything white look dingy. Neither did I like the fact that I was put on the road gang. The Road Gang was the guys who bush axed and used the swing blade to chop down what seemed to be endless forest alongside the highway. Usually there were two guards with guns watching over us as we worked so that we wouldn’t try to escape. I hated this because most of the time I was there it was freezing cold out there working for .24 cent an hour. It was on this camp where I made work release during my annual review. Upon receiving this information, I choose to keep it to myself because I didn’t need anyone trying to run my time up.
However, instead of sending me to a work release camp they sent me to James River, a work camp. Immediately, I went to the counselor to see why I was there. Needless to say, I had to stay there until room came open at the work release camp. On this camp protocol was such as at about 6 AM in the morning we had to go outside and stand on the basketball court to get choose to go out and work in freezing temperatures. I can’t remember where I went or what I did because I only went out about two times before I decided to buck the system because I can’t do cold. I was willing to lose it all because it was just too cold for me to work. I know some guys worked at Goochland the Women’s Prison down the road however they put me in the field.
Amazing, I didn’t get in trouble or get my work release revoked because I only stayed there about 3 weeks before I got shipped to Chesterfield, VA where the work release was.
On the unit, there were also a lot of guys I had encountered throughout the system. Here you had to stay in for a week or two before you went to work in the real world. In this time, you would get your social security card, birth certificate and etc.
After my two weeks, I went on an interview at Howard Johnson Hotel and I got hired for a room cleaning position. It had been over 2 years since I had been on the outside so you could imagine everything that was going on in my mind. For some reason, I loved this period in my life, maybe it was because it was the first time every that I was clean and working in my life. With that being said, when it was time for me to get out I was really scared and wouldn’t have mind staying there.
At this job, we could swim, eat good food and party some before going back to the unit. I also had a girlfriend and on at least one occasion had sex. This hotel had a lot of travelers coming through. I seen a Hampton girls sport team stay there for a few days. Many Nascar fans stayed there when events were going on.
To be honest at that time this was one of the best times of my life. It’s at this place where I received my GED and saved money for my return to Grandy Park.
After about 6 months my time was up and it was time to take that ride to Norfolk, VA.
Chapter 5
I’m Out
I’m Out!!
By the time, I was released my mom had moved from Grandy Park to Shoop Park. We now lived on St. Denis Ave. The difference between the two were one was in the projects and on St. Denis my mom was buying a house.
Fresh out with a fresh start one would assume that my chances at success are greater. However, what I found was that the man was out of the projects but the projects wasn’t out of the man. I started hanging with some of the younger guys. All we did was party!! Red Hot Chili Pepper was our spot. As a matter of fact, we used to call it going to work. I loved it when we met the girls from Bowling Park up there. Along with the partying came a lot of beef. I there when Lil “C” was shot in that spot. Needless to say, it wasn’t long before I was hustling and then eventually getting high on the low. From there things went down pretty fast for me.
After being out for about 6 months my younger brother was charged with shooting two guys at Tiny Giant off Lafayette Blvd. At the time he was about15 years old and was charged with first degree murder and malicious wounding. I first saw it on the news then shortly he called me and I told him to come home. It wasn’t too long later in the week the detectives came by and took him downtown. This was one of the hardest things I had to deal with up until this point because if I could I would’ve took those charges for him. This hurt me deeply to watch them take him away.
From that day until this day my mother was never been the same. She began drinking uncontrollably until she lost her job, car, house and eventually her mind. She began to black out and walk the street night and day.
I was getting higher & higher. So, it wasn’t long before I began robbing & stealing for my dope habit. One night I was on the prowl with my unk trying to catch a victim and the police pulled me and found two guns in my car while I was already a convicted felon. To make a long story short after about 30 days I went to court and took a plea deal to reduce it to a misdemeanor and time served. Can you believe they let your boy go while I was on parole and probation?
Upon my release going to see a P.O. was the far less thing from my mind. So, in a matter of months I was back locked up for probation and parole violation.
Now I’m back in 811 E City Hall waiting to go to court to find out my fate. During this time judges were giving out Detention and Diversion Center as an alternative to doing time so I asked for the programs and the judge approved.
The first part of this bid was the Detention Center on South Hampton. I knew plenty of guys up here too. Dukie, Rod and lots of guys were from the park. Also, one of the officers there was from Chesterfield Heights, bad thing was we used to give him a hard time in school and in their neighborhood. Dukie always reminded him that we did.
This place was like a military place with marching, canteen and all the language we had to use. It was in this place where I began to read and really educate myself concerning life. I also learned a lot in our life skills class at this place that would come back to my remembrance when I finally was free from drugs and alcohol.
After my completion of this program I was shipped to the Diversion Center located in White Post, VA. Immediately upon approaching this building you couldn’t help but to notice that this is a prison. We were being stored in the Old Camp 7 building included with bars. Not only that but because this program is so new they don’t have any jobs set up for us yet. The Diversion Center was purposed to be a place to transition back in the community by working on the outside to gain experience and money to prepare you for your release.
However, for a couple of months we just sat and did nothing. It was during this time that I found out that my friend, Frashon was murdered. Fra, was one of the guys I knew my entire life. As a matter of fact, on this very bid he had come to see me a couple of times in 811. When I received the word that he had been killed it instantly made my heart heavy and burdened me. It also caused me to look over my life and examine myself and where I was headed.
After a couple of months, we moved next door to a warehouse style building without bars. Also at that time, I gained employment at Melnor Inc., a lawn and garden production factory. On this job, I learned hand eye coordination and speed as the conveyor belts never stopped. I soon discovered that I really liked working because it gave me a sense of worth and satisfaction. While working, I befriended this guy from New Jersey named Dana.
Dana, was a Muslim guy who was working on his recovery from heroin. He had been all over the world scoring dope including Norfolk. As our friendship developed he asked if I want to move to the Winchester are too have a fresh start at life. After much talking and thinking I decided I would take that opportunity. Although I wasn’t Muslim and believed in Jesus as Lord I decided to take a chance because he seemed to genuinely care about me.
After about 6 months, “I’m Out” again. I thought to myself, “Let’s try this again.” I wasn’t ready last time, I just needed a do over, I thought.
Upon my release, I moved in with Dana in Winchester, VA. just as I said I would. I decided not to go home so I stayed in Winchester once I was released.
On that day, Anita came to pick me up from the center. After she picked me up she took me to the bank, shopping and I believe to the liquor store. Anita was at my job and she offered to pick me up. She was married and we were only friends.
I soon began to work and after about a month a began to get home sick, so I decided that I would take the Greyhound home to see my family and friends. Once I got to Norfolk my sister Trina and her boyfriend pick me up from the Greyhound Station. It didn’t take long for me to find out that my momma had lost her house and was staying with my grandma Gloria. Not only did she lose the house but she had put everything outside and people took whatever they wanted. So, I had no childhood pictures, no clothes, no trophy or nothing that tied me to my youth.
Almost immediately I start doing dope again and it didn’t take long to run through the couple thousand dollars I had saved. Next thing you know I got me a gun and was back to sticking up again.
While I was locked up I had met this guy name John, he was from P- Town and we had got out on the same day. We linked up and started a robbing spree on local dope dealers. The both of us together was HELL. This guy was down for whatever and I had plenty heart. No good can come from us hanging out.
One morning I was awake by my Aunt Carolyn. She had heard about us on the streets. The word was that people were looking for me to kill me. My Aunt told me to call Dana to see if I could go back to Winchester. So, I called Dana and after convincing him that I was ready for change he agreed to allow me to come back.
That very day my Aunt drove me from Norfolk to Winchester. This was one of the longest rides I every took because I was dope sick and burning. Back in the WINC it’s a slower, calmer living that will allow me to get back on my feet.
After going to the clinic and overcoming my cold turkey period I found a job and went to work. For the first time in my life while free I began to hold down a job and learned to budget, plan and set goals. About 6 months later I heard that my sister Katrina was having problems in school and with my mother’s husband in which violence was a result of her actions so I went to Norfolk and my mom gave me guardianship of her. We got her back to Winchester and enrolled her in a GED program at Handley High School then later she went to Job Corps.
Not too long later I filed for custody of my son Bryon who lived in Norfolk with his mother. They weren’t present at the hearing however the judge gave me temporary custody of him. The problem was, I didn’t know where they were. I went to the school where he should have been enrolled but he wasn’t enrolled there nor did they live in the last known address that I knew.
I immediately took to the streets to ask questions and found someone who knew where they were. When the judge gave me custody he told me if I found them to call the police and show them the paper that he had gave me. We found them in a hotel in Ocean View, the police knocked on the door and Bryon and his sister were in there. They brought Bryon out to me and I asked him are you ready to go with me and he said, “yes.” So, I told him to go get his clothes and anything that he wanted to bring. After he returned to the vehicle I asked him was he surprised to see me and he responded by saying, “No, I knew you were going to come get me.” At that response, I almost broke down in tears because it showed the faith of a child.
This was the beginning of the journey of myself, my sister and my son in Winchester, VA. In this journey, it was our pain and experiences that kept us together. It was the rejection, neglect and abandonment that caused us to believe in each other and to care for one another but it was the vision of our future that gave us the power to wake up, dress up and show up. Times were difficult and we had to learn a new system or way of living. Outside our comfort zone is where we lived. In this place, God preformed miracle after miracle although at the time we didn’t recognize them. It’s looking back where we notice that it had to be God all along.
In this time, I’m drinking daily and my life is unmanageable although I’m working every day. The partying, lying and cheating is taking a hold of me. I’m tired and exhausted, depressed and hopeless.
Chapter 6
Help Me
The first step in escaping a prison is to realize you are in one.
I was imprisoned by my desire for drugs and alcohol. It forced me to devote much of my time and energy trying to fulfill it. These desires enslave me and for years I have been crying out to no avail.
Finally, I have hit rock bottom and this life seems unbearable. I can’t take another second, minute nor hour in this state of mind.
Without thought right in my house while intoxicated I began to call out to God. In that moment, I was ashamed and embarrassed because I had called out to God many times before to deliver me and Him being God has delivered me on many occasions I each time He spared me, forgave me, delivered me and I turned back when I promised Him I wouldn’t. So, this time I couldn’t find the words and perhaps He had heard it all before.
Then these words proceeded from the pit spirit, “Help Me”! I NEED HELP! no long prayer, no elegant of speech or intellectual conversation just a desperate cry from a lost soul.
After that cry I went to bed and didn’t think the following day when I woke up things were different. I was walking to the front door and I heard audibly, “You’re Free.” I immediately looked around to see who said that but quickly I realized it was God himself declaring my freedom. It reminds me of a passage of scripture, Psalms 18:6
In my distress, I called upon the Lord, And cried to my God for help; He heard my voice out of His temple, And my cry for help before Him came into His ears.
He Heard My Cry!
I was excited and knew in my soul that I was free. I soon found out that what God had spoken to me he didn’t speak to the people around me. With joy in my heart I called my Dad to tell him all that happened and to my disappointment he laughed. That conversation taught me a lot and served notice that everyone won’t believe that God speaks to you nor will they believe that God will or can use you.
Chapter 7
Who Me?
It wasn’t long before I heard the Lord speak to me again.
I was half asleep and half awake and very clearly, I heard the Lord instruct me to go to the jail to fill out an application to volunteer for Bible Study.
I instantly responded, “Who Me?”! God, I have been convicted of multiple felonies and I’m pretty sure those folks won’t allow me to go behind them walls. Needless to say, I acted on the Word of God and as a result I was approved to go in to help these guys out with their class Reformers Unanimous. It wasn’t long before they asked me to speak and share my story. Once I did many were saved. As a result of that the word got back to the Chaplin and he offered me my own night. Shortly, after I began my own night the guy that I started off helping became my helper. We went from a group of 12 to 40 plus men in our class. I had to move from the classroom to the gym. I believe because of the success the Chaplin offered me a second day which was on a Sunday and I agreed.
It’s about 18 months since I have been doing this and everything is going great then I get another word from the Lord instructing me to start pastoring and once again m reply was, “Who Me?”
At that time, it appears every time I settle in and got comfortable God moved me. Although this was not my plan or anything I every prayed for I trusted the Lord concerning this.
One day I was looking in the newspaper and a non-denominational church had an opening for an Associate Pastor, so I contacted the person in charge and was offered the position.
Certainly, I was moving from faith to faith and God would manifest Himself every time I was obedient. Things began to happen that I never dreamed of and really began to understand what Jesus meant when he said, “Not my will but thy will be done.” You see, none of the plans were mine, I was walking in my already ordered steps.
It came a time when my church at the time purchased a building in Strasburg for 4 million dollars and as we were preparing to move God spoke again saying, “Ask to stay here to start a congregation”, and just like in times past I said, “Who Me?” I asked my Pastor and of course he allowed me to because God had already prepared the way.
Grace and Mercy Ministries was birthed because of a seed God deposited within me. It’s been 4 years now and it’s in that time many souls have been saved, many have been baptized, many have been set free from the Spirit of Addiction, many have been delivered from generational curses, sexual perversions, molestation, rape and abuse.
Deliverance is the children bread and although I didn’t know it when I first got started God truly used me to set the captives free. Along the way there has been many who have questioned my calling and my intentions but because my heart is pure and I have remained authentic, God has defended me in every trial.
The Grace that has been allotted to my life is not of my own. It belongs to the Lord.
God has done exceeding, abundantly and above all that I can imagine. Who would of thought that would love someone like me. Just to think that He thought I was worth saving.
As I write this tears are welling up in my eyes, my joy is full and I’m sure that victory is mines.
To all who are castaways, misfits, black sheep’s and forgotten one’s God has a plan for you to be great. If you are saying, “Who Me?” you are right where God wants you.
This is a Portion of my book that God is birthing in me. My prayer is that someone will be encouraged by this knowing that it doesn’t matter how you
Start because with Jesus all things are possible. I would like you to know that
Your past may be setting you for your future!!!!
Written By: Bryon L. Johnson
- “But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name.”
John 1:12
Chapter 1
Born in Sin
September 30, 1973 was the date that I made my entry into this world. Born to William S. Lucas and Katrina Johnson in Grandy Park projects located in Norfolk, Virginia.
I came 2 years after my dad got out of the military in which he developed a heroin habit as a scared young man. My parents weren’t married or never did marry. In fact, I could never remember them ever living together although my dad said we all did.
Sam, my dad told me of how him and my mom Tina met and started dating. According to him he had got into a fight with some guy name July and because of the fight his tongue had got cut or bitten really bad. Mom, started coming over to help take care him considering he could only eat soup because of his tongue.
Well, even as I write this I can’t help but to notice that violence was there at the very beginning. As a matter of fact, it was violence that brought them together.
I guess it’s fair to say that I was “Born in Sin”.
Chapter 2
Shaped in Iniquity
In my earliest memories, I believe I was about 7 years old. I have heard that people could remember when they were 2 & 3 years old but I’m unable to do that do to my extensive and continuous getting high. Back to my story, when I was about 7 years old I remember the guy banging on our door really hard trying to fight some guy who was inside our house. You see my house was the bootlegger house. That means my mom sold liquor, beer and food to the local drinkers and partiers. I remember being really nervous and scared on this night. I was upstairs looking out of my window and I see my dad come up to the guy who was yelling outside my house and after a short argument my day cut his throat. After words my dad came upstairs and said, “I saw you in the window”. He then said, “you know I did that because of you”. I had to protect you guys by stopping him from coming in and hurting someone. On the next day, I remember looking around for a man who had a cut on his neck. I had an idea what house the guy stayed in on my same row but there many guys who stayed there so thought I could identify him by bandages on his neck. I knew that he didn’t die because like always I had eavesdropped on the adult’s conversation.
Speaking of bootlegger and serving drunkards, I clearly remember one night I was sitting at the table doing my homework and there was a couple there buying drinks and helping with my homework. Shortly, after I found out that they were the police doing an undercover sting operation. Needless to say, my mom caught herself a charge that night and I had to go the neighbors until she got bonded out.
Shaped in Iniquity
When I was young my mother was a pretty dark skin lady that wore glasses, and had a core bottle shape. The problem was that she didn’t love herself. So, her life consisted of a continuous flow of boyfriends moving in and out of our house. Many of them were friends and most of them seemed not to like me much. What’s amazing about the memory is that I can remember all of them in which most of them died prematurely. In them times most of her boyfriend’s drink that syrup. Know that syrup that’s in the brown bottle that makes you nod uncontrollably. These guys were bums and were just using her for sex and a place to stay. These guys were afraid of my dad because he was known for stabbing and shooting. However, he stays locked up most of the time. I guess they all thought it was a good idea to talk trash and to hit on me while not forgetting to tell me to tell your daddy. Majority of these guys were verbal and physically abusive to my mom. Over the years, I’ve seen my mom take many beatings and although often I jumped in I was totally out matched by these men. At a very young age my nerves were shot and it manifested in my stomach regularly. Many of nights I sat up and cried with momma. Usually she was hurt because they left despite what they did and I was happy that they left. I remember saying, “momma don’t worry about him, all we need is us, momma.” I would say, “momma don’t let him back in because he hurt you”, but momma was lonely and always felt she needed a MAN. Momma wanted a man so much that she would even put me out the house to please them. At those times, I would walk to my grandma Margaret’s house who lived in the same projects that I did not far away.
At momma Margaret’s house, I ate breakfast, lunch and dinner something I wasn’t used too. At grandma’s house, we went to church and she taught us about Jesus. At grandma’s house, I had a heap of cousins to play with. The one thing that I most noticed at grandma’s house is that I felt loved. Grandma had a way of making everyone feel like they were the special one. I remember one day grandma asked me if I would like to live with her and I immediately said, “yes.” Somehow my mom found out and asked me about it while crying and saying that they were trying to take me away from her. I remember her crying and saying how much she loved me and needed me then told me that if I loved her that I would stay with her. In other words, she made me feel horrible forever considering leaving although I knew from a very young age that she loved partying and men more than she ever love me.
Well, one thing is for sure I vowed that as soon as I get a little bit older her boyfriends won’t talk trash and get in my face anymore or else they would surely pay. I must tell you I kept to my word whole heartedly. At age 13 years old I bought my first gun and immediately I gained much confidence. Doing that young age I was selling drugs, stealing cars and getting high.
Shaped in Iniquity
At this time my court is where all the money is being made in our projects. Along with that money came a lot of problems and murders that no young man should witness. Being without a father present I looked to the older hustlers for guidance and advice. This is where my life took a major turn with robbing, doing heroin, coke and chasing young girls. I so much want to be like them because they made it look so good and so rewarding that I couldn’t resist. The new clothes, cars and jewelry baited me in like animals in route to a trap. I never thought I would use heroin but they told me about how long you could have sex and in my vulnerability concerning my inability to last long while having sex caused me to indulge. Needless to say, a dope fiend was born. Love at first sniff. My father was a dope fiend so immediately I knew I woke up a sleeping giant that came through my bloodline.
From that point on I started to figure out ways to try to get away. During one of my court appearances for stolen cars I asked the judge if I could be sentenced to Job Corps and he agreed.
Now I’m in Flatwoods Job Corps and every time I call home my momma is telling me she needs me home and making me feel guilty for being away as if I am her man. Not to mention that I had a girlfriend back in Norfolk who I thought of often although I knew it was out of sight, out of mind for her. Not long after I left Job Corps and headed back to Grandy Park.
Stayed with mom a few months and I decided to go to live with my uncle in Woodbridge, VA. My intent was to go back to school and to do things right. However, soon after I arrived there my uncle was busted for selling drugs and the funny thing about that is nobody knew he sold drugs, at least I didn’t. With my uncle locked up and me being in a place where I didn’t know anyone I went back home and got my homeboy “O”, and we headed back to Woodbridge with coke and a plan to get money. I think it’s worth mentioning that the entire time I was in Woodbridge whenever I talked to my mom she made me feel bad about not being home by telling me how much she needed me. Whether I was attempting to do good or bad when I was away she always asked me to come back to that war zone.
Well I come back home at age 17 years old and my mom introduce me to the neighbor who is 24 years old. The next thing you know she’s pregnant with her 5th child, thanks mom.
Now at this time my heart has grown cold and I have allowed m negative experiences to shape me. Because of the frequent changes of men by my mom my perspective of women has been twisted and I have lost respect for women as a whole. I have allowed the men in my momma’s life to cause my heart to change into a heart of stone and now at any sign of disagreement I’m ready for war. In jail, I would say, “I’m trained to go.” I’m a young ticking time bomb with no love and no respect for authority brought on by the repeated abuse caused by people who should’ve protected me but instead they exposed me to the enemy.
Chapter 3
Me and Pops
In my earliest memories of Sammy Lucas my daddy the all consist of visiting him in prisons. In those times, Tina Childs was his girlfriend. Dad also had a child by Tina by the name of Marcus. Tina Childs was very nice to me and for years she would come get me on weekends so that we could take that long ride to whatever prison Dad was in at that time. I remember taking food and drinks to the prison to eat while we visited Sam. Tina seemed to enjoy her visit with Sam but I think that she enjoyed Marcus and I bonding together more. Marcus was an only child needless to say he was spoiled beyond measure. During them times he had every toy you could imagine. I can’t help but to remember that his ears were incredibly big. Through the years his body eventually caught up with his ears though.
After these brief memories of Sam in m adolescences the next thing I remember is he got released when I was at the life changing age of 17 years old.
At the age of 17 years old I encounter the Lord for myself. It was on the block where I met Jesus. I had been laying low because my friend had pulled out a gun on the biggest drug dealer in our neighborhood. The problem was, it was my gun and the dealer knew it belonged to me and not to mention the fact that I was present when it happened. This dealer responded by having his workers along with his cousin from New York to look for us. Immediately after the incident I dropped him off out Brambleton and I return to the park to my house and kind of stayed in for a couple of weeks. I heard that the New York boy was looking for us and that he was walking around with what appeared to be a machine gun or something. Finally, I got tired of hiding and came out and plus these were my projects. Anyways, I was born and raised in Grandy Park. So, the day that I got tired of hiding I started walking through the circle in the front of the park. It was there that a minister by the name of Gregory Perry approached me about my external standing. On the spot, I begun to weep and accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour. In an instant I stopped getting high, drinking, hustling and smoking cigarettes. God had delivered me in a dramatic way.
I must mention that although God had delivered me from so much I continued to shack or fornicate whatever one you prefer me to say, whenever you give the devil an inch he will take a mile. I gave him a foothold and eventually it turns into a stronghold which in turn kept me in a choke hold. Gregory Perry had given me job for a cleaning service at the shipyard. I had a group of brothers who were fresh in this new walk, just as I was. We all fellowshipped, hanging out and worked together. We shared our experiences to as we grew together as we encouraged one another. It was during this period that my Dad was released from prison. When my Dad first got out he was attending church and speaking about God also. I don’t know how long it was but shortly after his release he decided that he wanted to get high and I was right along with him. I probably had been clean about 6 months and he had been clean some time since he was fresh out of the pin I’m assuming. Pops had a lot of pull on the streets so he could pretty much get what he wanted from anyone. On this day, we got about 5 or 6 bags free from this New York kid name Knowledge. We were creeping and sneaking all the back to Zo house. We went upstairs and he started getting his works and stuff together so he could shoot his dope while I sniffed mines. Like a pro, I sniff mines and went to the bathroom to put some water n my nose so I could catch a drain and I wasn’t two minutes after I got back that Pops went out. That’s right first shot and he overdose. I totally panicked and didn’t know what to do. I yelled downstairs to Zo and said something wrong with Sam and from downstairs she yelled up, “Bryon don’t tell me that he was getting high in which I responded, “He wasn’t getting high.” However, it was obvious that he was getting high because I didn’t clean up. He still had the needle out, bags out, spoon out and he was out. Zo went straight into medic mode and you could clearly tell that she done this a time or two before. Sam chest was swelling pretty big and it wasn’t looking good. I call the paramedics and Zo worked on him until they came. Needless to say, that the entire neighborhood was outside as they wheeled him to the vehicles, I guess true what they say, “What’s done in the dark will come to the light.” After that near-death experience, we never went back to church. For me I think the shame kept me from repenting and going back to the house of the Lord.
Me and Pops
We were both off to the race’s, chasing dope and hustling. Next thing you know we were robbing together. The first one I remember clearly, I was in the back of the park and Sam pulled the gun on a dude who was trying to score. After he pulled the gun out I punch the guy in the face and knocked him down. My reason was that I didn’t want Sam to shoot him, he was known for that. Then after we got him and go to a safe place, Sam said “yea Bre you did a good job.” It was at that very moment for the first time in my life that I could remember that my pops publicly acknowledged that he was proud of me. On that day, I took a mental note as to what I had to do to get my father to affirm me. I pursued that street cred fervently and acknowledgement from Sam from that day forth.
Me and Pops
It wasn’t too long before we went from robbing together to he was robbing me. I guess there’s no honor among thieves.
We were right next door to my house 2937 Kimball Terrace and evidently, I ended up being the only one with dope and I didn’t get the memo. For some reason, everybody and their momma was in the court that day. Sam, asked for some dope and I said I couldn’t afford it because I had to get money to pay rent. At that time, I had an apartment out the Heights by the grill with my girlfriend. My son and the rest of her kids. I told Sam I didn’t have it and the next thing you know I was staring down the back of his gun while he was saying, “Bre I’ll kill you.” On this day, I learned love no one because even your biological father will get you. I think I was more hurt from the fact that he did this in front of everyone so it clearly sent a message and made me look pretty worthless. I remember making up my mind that I was going to kill him besides I had two guns in my car. First, I went in the house and told my mom and while telling her I cried like a baby from the pain of being betrayed which would take years too totally get over.
Me and Pops
I had been in jail for about 6 months or so and one day my dad walk the gates on the 5th floor. Immediately I saw him and went over to holla at him. Without thought I gave him my bunk and I slept on the floor do to the overcrowding of the jail. I must say that it was weird being locked up with your father when you have no memories of sharing a house together and now we were sharing a cell together. As crazy as it seems, I was excited about spending time with him while doing time. We started playing chess, then he began to get dope sick as all heroin addicts do. Later that evening the nurse came around and she slipped him something. As soon as he took whatever it was that she gave him he started tripping out. Pops was seeing things, looking into space and talking like a little kid. He couldn’t even talk or walk on his own. We yelled for the deputy and carried him to the gate where they took over to take him to the medical floor.
The next time I seen him was months later. I was in the Christian block and he was just walking by. We engaged briefly before he had to go. It was only a matter of time before DOC would come to get me considering I was sentenced to 7 ½ years.
Chapter 4
Caught a Case
It’s August 4, 1993 @ 6:30pm when I caught my first case on 2900 block of Kimball Terrace in Grandy Park. In the court where it all goes down. The spot where all the hustlers, boosters, pimps, gamblers, prostitutes and plucks hangout or at least come through.
Its early in the morning because I had a motto, “the early bird gets the worm.” I was out there early trying to make a dollar and little did I know that the bicycle police where heavy and active on that morning. I guess “the early bird gets the worm was there motto also.” I’m in the court waiting on folks to come through to score, a few had come through and it seem like it was going to be a good day. All of a sudden, the bikes roll up on me from everywhere. I take flight straight through the court. As I approach the end of the court I jumped the fence while at the same time tossing a bundle of dope into a car that had people sitting in it. In hopes of them pulling with the diesel. Evidently, they didn’t pull off because when the police finally caught me they had that dope also. I continue running across the street through Kimball Court. I hopped the fence by Mrs. Rose house. Mrs. Rose was the candy lady I knew her kids, grandkids and her big dogs. After I jumped the fence I was now in the maze, I was very familiar with the maze because that’s where my Grandma Margaret lived. I ran into a house that used to be Anna’s, everyone knew Anna and her kids KitaBoo, Fat’s and Tomeka were the girls. She no longer lived there anymore and here I am running up in someone’s house who I don’t know. I told the people I would pay them then I ran upstairs to hide. Honestly, I totally forgot I had crack in my pocket so I didn’t even attempt to flush it. The police kept yelling from downstairs to come out with my hands up and come downstairs. Needless to say, I never did. If they were going to get me they would have to come and get me in which they did. The officers brought me downstairs, took me out on the back porch begun to search me while proceeding to put handcuffs on me. Everyone seemed to be outside but I remember Ms. Ida Mae clearly. Ms. Ida Mae was my mother’s friend and her son Face was my best friend. She was yelling at the police to make sure they didn’t rough me up too bad. Even during them times the police had a tendency too rough us young guys up from time to time. The officers talk to the squad car and take me to the P.O.C. on Virginia Beach Blvd. While at the station they did their usual good cop, bad cop routine.
They do this in hopes that someone would snitch but that quickly found out they had the wrong one as far as that’s concerned. While at the police station I was mad at myself however at the same time I was proud because I had money in my safe to bond out.
I get to the jail in the booking area and I see Reggie so I said, “What up” to him. Reggie grew up in our neighborhood but choose the right path, he was a deputy in the jail who worked in booking. It was in booking where I began to feel dope sick. I made a call to my mom from there. I now had the great task of getting my safe from Yvette’s house to my mom’s house where the key to the safe was. After a few calls I just about gave up, my stomach was hurting, I was spitting up the lining of my stomach, my back was hurting and everything I smelt stunk really bad. I was lying on the floor under the phone because the cell block was overcrowded. Sweating and irritated I noticed that all the fellas from around the way was in that block. I remember seeing Phil, Ralph, Pee-Wee and Skipper from around the way. Ralph offered me chocolate and stuff to try to ease the kicking process.
I’m not sure what the chocolate did if anything at all. Next thing I hear is Bryon Johnson B&B. B&B was a term the deputies used to let you know you were leaving. It stands for Bag & Bags. The sweetest sound you could ever hear. On the following month, September 1993 approximately around the same date I got busted again. You know the location Kimball Terrace in the projects of Grandy Park.
This time the charges were reversed. I was charged with Distribution of Heroin and Possession of Cocaine. This time I was so high I didn’t even try to get rid of the crack because I forgot all about it.
I’m back in the jail going through the same withdraws and affects. However, this time there’s no money in the safe. In fact, I didn’t have much money at all because since I got out on bond I been getting high more than ever. I probably contributed it the pressure of the case of whatever but the fact of the matter was I was a dope fiend. So, with the money to post another 10,000 bond I had to get my Mom to get in contact with my Dad. That was going to be a task because my Dad and most of all the hustlers in my neighborhood were in Texas to see Sweet Pea Whitaker fight. It was about a week before my Dad sent a bondsman to get me out.
Once again, I was called for B&B. I got downstairs and the bondsman told me your Dad said for me to give you a ride home. I was thinking to myself, this won’t look good at all. A white man giving me a ride to the hood after I just got busted so I got him to drop me off in Chesterfield Heights so I could walk to the park. As soon as I got to the park I see Derick in the back of the court. I asked him to hook me up, he did and I was off to the races again.
I had Danny Shipley on both cases. At that time, he was an up and coming lawyer. He carried some weight of the streets for dope cases. On my first charge I was sentenced to 2 years with 2 years suspended and 2 years’ probation.
On my second case I received 5 years with 5 years suspended with 2 years’ probation. On both cases I took a plea deal.
January 5, 1994 I was placed officially on probation after the plea deals on November 19, 1993.
By March of 1994 I was back in jail for armed robbery and possession of a firearm by a convicted felon.
After this time my addiction totally had the best of me and I was going down fast. I thought I could stick-up a young drug dealer and get away but in the case the streets were talking. Eventually I pleaded guilty to Larceny from the person and received 5 years with all suspended but 6 months.
Needless to say, this violated me on my previous cases so they gave me all my time from both cases. I ended up with 7 years 6 months to serve in the State Penitentiary.
Here I am, seems like destiny fulfilled. Momma always told me I would be like my Daddy. Neighborhood expected this of me. Some even prophesied it and spoke death over my life. Most of my friends were in here, just getting out or on their way.
At the time, I entered the jail it was filled with drugs. Anything you wanted was there. Guys walking around high as gas. This was eye opening to me. First bid I haven’t left the jail yet and I see a young dude get turnt out. I made up in my mind a long time ago that would never be my testimony and walk in that truth today.
In the beginning, I partook in getting high, gambling and fighting. As a matter of fact, I got my lip busted in the jail and had to go to the community hospital for stitches.
It wasn’t all bad though because I filled out a request to get into the Christian Block that was pretty new. I believe God drew me to this decision because most guys at the time chose not to go because of reputation but I felt a power that was drawing me and I didn’t want to resist.
Once I begun to engage in the lessons, activities, groups and prayers I knew that this is where I belong. It was in this place that I really discovered God for myself and no longer worshipped the God of my grandmother. Almost immediately I begun to dream and have visions from God. I prayed fervently day and night and I enjoyed it. I lived discussing the scriptures and listening to tapes concerning the gospel. When I would read the Bible, I would escape jail for the moment and find myself inside the stories in the Bible as an on looker. In these dreams or visions I could smell, taste, feel and behold all that it offered. For the first time in my life I had peace, even in the midst of a storm. This was the place I had been searching for in my spirit. Never imagined I would find it behind bars. For the first time in my life I felt satisfied and loved.
Once I begun to realize that my 6 months were up and I was about to complete the program anxiety overtook me. I knew I had to go back to the cell block were survival was the only thing on your mind. A place where every minute of the day someone was trying to get over on you.
After I entered back into regular population my fire was quickly burnt out. I found it true that bad communication corrupts good behavior. The darkness the once oppressed me was back and perhaps even stronger. Every man in there was pronouncing death over themselves and others. Poison from their tongues rolled off at a rapid rate.
Before you knew it, I was back gambling, cussing and fighting stronger than before. I believed that the demon came back with 7 more even stronger then him. My latter was worse than my former.
It wasn’t to longer before I heard B&B. Today, was the day that I would take that ride to prison. My destination was Indian Creek receiving or intake. On this day about 6 of us arrived to be processed. There was one Chinese guy, guy from Newport news whose parents own stores there. Everybody from the park was on this spread. Champ was in receiving with me. In which would come in handy later. At some point in my time there some guys thought I stole something and while I was on the toilet they tried to rush me but Champ came in the restroom in a nick of time. He must had known what was going on because I had no clue. My man Frashon was there. We were close and had went to school together all the way until we got put out in middle school for fighting.
On Indian Creek, there were plenty drugs so needless to say, “I was back getting high.” After about 6 months there I was told to pack my bags I was being shipped to another prison. After boarding the bust we took this long ride in the wee hours of the morning. When I look up we are at Powtan where there were many buses with hundreds of inmates on them shackled hand and foot. This is where we all got off and changed buses to whatever location we were going. For some reason this reminded me of slaves being transported. I changed buses and took another long ride until I reached Camp 4 Baskerville, VA.
Once on Camp 4 quickly I realized I know a lot of guys on this camp. I was greeting by my cousin Tyrone, Vic, Lil Pat, Barry, Shawn, Ghost and Me-Me from the park.
I didn’t like this prison because of the clay like dirt that made everything white look dingy. Neither did I like the fact that I was put on the road gang. The Road Gang was the guys who bush axed and used the swing blade to chop down what seemed to be endless forest alongside the highway. Usually there were two guards with guns watching over us as we worked so that we wouldn’t try to escape. I hated this because most of the time I was there it was freezing cold out there working for .24 cent an hour. It was on this camp where I made work release during my annual review. Upon receiving this information, I choose to keep it to myself because I didn’t need anyone trying to run my time up.
However, instead of sending me to a work release camp they sent me to James River, a work camp. Immediately, I went to the counselor to see why I was there. Needless to say, I had to stay there until room came open at the work release camp. On this camp protocol was such as at about 6 AM in the morning we had to go outside and stand on the basketball court to get choose to go out and work in freezing temperatures. I can’t remember where I went or what I did because I only went out about two times before I decided to buck the system because I can’t do cold. I was willing to lose it all because it was just too cold for me to work. I know some guys worked at Goochland the Women’s Prison down the road however they put me in the field.
Amazing, I didn’t get in trouble or get my work release revoked because I only stayed there about 3 weeks before I got shipped to Chesterfield, VA where the work release was.
On the unit, there were also a lot of guys I had encountered throughout the system. Here you had to stay in for a week or two before you went to work in the real world. In this time, you would get your social security card, birth certificate and etc.
After my two weeks, I went on an interview at Howard Johnson Hotel and I got hired for a room cleaning position. It had been over 2 years since I had been on the outside so you could imagine everything that was going on in my mind. For some reason, I loved this period in my life, maybe it was because it was the first time every that I was clean and working in my life. With that being said, when it was time for me to get out I was really scared and wouldn’t have mind staying there.
At this job, we could swim, eat good food and party some before going back to the unit. I also had a girlfriend and on at least one occasion had sex. This hotel had a lot of travelers coming through. I seen a Hampton girls sport team stay there for a few days. Many Nascar fans stayed there when events were going on.
To be honest at that time this was one of the best times of my life. It’s at this place where I received my GED and saved money for my return to Grandy Park.
After about 6 months my time was up and it was time to take that ride to Norfolk, VA.
Chapter 5
I’m Out
I’m Out!!
By the time, I was released my mom had moved from Grandy Park to Shoop Park. We now lived on St. Denis Ave. The difference between the two were one was in the projects and on St. Denis my mom was buying a house.
Fresh out with a fresh start one would assume that my chances at success are greater. However, what I found was that the man was out of the projects but the projects wasn’t out of the man. I started hanging with some of the younger guys. All we did was party!! Red Hot Chili Pepper was our spot. As a matter of fact, we used to call it going to work. I loved it when we met the girls from Bowling Park up there. Along with the partying came a lot of beef. I there when Lil “C” was shot in that spot. Needless to say, it wasn’t long before I was hustling and then eventually getting high on the low. From there things went down pretty fast for me.
After being out for about 6 months my younger brother was charged with shooting two guys at Tiny Giant off Lafayette Blvd. At the time he was about15 years old and was charged with first degree murder and malicious wounding. I first saw it on the news then shortly he called me and I told him to come home. It wasn’t too long later in the week the detectives came by and took him downtown. This was one of the hardest things I had to deal with up until this point because if I could I would’ve took those charges for him. This hurt me deeply to watch them take him away.
From that day until this day my mother was never been the same. She began drinking uncontrollably until she lost her job, car, house and eventually her mind. She began to black out and walk the street night and day.
I was getting higher & higher. So, it wasn’t long before I began robbing & stealing for my dope habit. One night I was on the prowl with my unk trying to catch a victim and the police pulled me and found two guns in my car while I was already a convicted felon. To make a long story short after about 30 days I went to court and took a plea deal to reduce it to a misdemeanor and time served. Can you believe they let your boy go while I was on parole and probation?
Upon my release going to see a P.O. was the far less thing from my mind. So, in a matter of months I was back locked up for probation and parole violation.
Now I’m back in 811 E City Hall waiting to go to court to find out my fate. During this time judges were giving out Detention and Diversion Center as an alternative to doing time so I asked for the programs and the judge approved.
The first part of this bid was the Detention Center on South Hampton. I knew plenty of guys up here too. Dukie, Rod and lots of guys were from the park. Also, one of the officers there was from Chesterfield Heights, bad thing was we used to give him a hard time in school and in their neighborhood. Dukie always reminded him that we did.
This place was like a military place with marching, canteen and all the language we had to use. It was in this place where I began to read and really educate myself concerning life. I also learned a lot in our life skills class at this place that would come back to my remembrance when I finally was free from drugs and alcohol.
After my completion of this program I was shipped to the Diversion Center located in White Post, VA. Immediately upon approaching this building you couldn’t help but to notice that this is a prison. We were being stored in the Old Camp 7 building included with bars. Not only that but because this program is so new they don’t have any jobs set up for us yet. The Diversion Center was purposed to be a place to transition back in the community by working on the outside to gain experience and money to prepare you for your release.
However, for a couple of months we just sat and did nothing. It was during this time that I found out that my friend, Frashon was murdered. Fra, was one of the guys I knew my entire life. As a matter of fact, on this very bid he had come to see me a couple of times in 811. When I received the word that he had been killed it instantly made my heart heavy and burdened me. It also caused me to look over my life and examine myself and where I was headed.
After a couple of months, we moved next door to a warehouse style building without bars. Also at that time, I gained employment at Melnor Inc., a lawn and garden production factory. On this job, I learned hand eye coordination and speed as the conveyor belts never stopped. I soon discovered that I really liked working because it gave me a sense of worth and satisfaction. While working, I befriended this guy from New Jersey named Dana.
Dana, was a Muslim guy who was working on his recovery from heroin. He had been all over the world scoring dope including Norfolk. As our friendship developed he asked if I want to move to the Winchester are too have a fresh start at life. After much talking and thinking I decided I would take that opportunity. Although I wasn’t Muslim and believed in Jesus as Lord I decided to take a chance because he seemed to genuinely care about me.
After about 6 months, “I’m Out” again. I thought to myself, “Let’s try this again.” I wasn’t ready last time, I just needed a do over, I thought.
Upon my release, I moved in with Dana in Winchester, VA. just as I said I would. I decided not to go home so I stayed in Winchester once I was released.
On that day, Anita came to pick me up from the center. After she picked me up she took me to the bank, shopping and I believe to the liquor store. Anita was at my job and she offered to pick me up. She was married and we were only friends.
I soon began to work and after about a month a began to get home sick, so I decided that I would take the Greyhound home to see my family and friends. Once I got to Norfolk my sister Trina and her boyfriend pick me up from the Greyhound Station. It didn’t take long for me to find out that my momma had lost her house and was staying with my grandma Gloria. Not only did she lose the house but she had put everything outside and people took whatever they wanted. So, I had no childhood pictures, no clothes, no trophy or nothing that tied me to my youth.
Almost immediately I start doing dope again and it didn’t take long to run through the couple thousand dollars I had saved. Next thing you know I got me a gun and was back to sticking up again.
While I was locked up I had met this guy name John, he was from P- Town and we had got out on the same day. We linked up and started a robbing spree on local dope dealers. The both of us together was HELL. This guy was down for whatever and I had plenty heart. No good can come from us hanging out.
One morning I was awake by my Aunt Carolyn. She had heard about us on the streets. The word was that people were looking for me to kill me. My Aunt told me to call Dana to see if I could go back to Winchester. So, I called Dana and after convincing him that I was ready for change he agreed to allow me to come back.
That very day my Aunt drove me from Norfolk to Winchester. This was one of the longest rides I every took because I was dope sick and burning. Back in the WINC it’s a slower, calmer living that will allow me to get back on my feet.
After going to the clinic and overcoming my cold turkey period I found a job and went to work. For the first time in my life while free I began to hold down a job and learned to budget, plan and set goals. About 6 months later I heard that my sister Katrina was having problems in school and with my mother’s husband in which violence was a result of her actions so I went to Norfolk and my mom gave me guardianship of her. We got her back to Winchester and enrolled her in a GED program at Handley High School then later she went to Job Corps.
Not too long later I filed for custody of my son Bryon who lived in Norfolk with his mother. They weren’t present at the hearing however the judge gave me temporary custody of him. The problem was, I didn’t know where they were. I went to the school where he should have been enrolled but he wasn’t enrolled there nor did they live in the last known address that I knew.
I immediately took to the streets to ask questions and found someone who knew where they were. When the judge gave me custody he told me if I found them to call the police and show them the paper that he had gave me. We found them in a hotel in Ocean View, the police knocked on the door and Bryon and his sister were in there. They brought Bryon out to me and I asked him are you ready to go with me and he said, “yes.” So, I told him to go get his clothes and anything that he wanted to bring. After he returned to the vehicle I asked him was he surprised to see me and he responded by saying, “No, I knew you were going to come get me.” At that response, I almost broke down in tears because it showed the faith of a child.
This was the beginning of the journey of myself, my sister and my son in Winchester, VA. In this journey, it was our pain and experiences that kept us together. It was the rejection, neglect and abandonment that caused us to believe in each other and to care for one another but it was the vision of our future that gave us the power to wake up, dress up and show up. Times were difficult and we had to learn a new system or way of living. Outside our comfort zone is where we lived. In this place, God preformed miracle after miracle although at the time we didn’t recognize them. It’s looking back where we notice that it had to be God all along.
In this time, I’m drinking daily and my life is unmanageable although I’m working every day. The partying, lying and cheating is taking a hold of me. I’m tired and exhausted, depressed and hopeless.
Chapter 6
Help Me
The first step in escaping a prison is to realize you are in one.
I was imprisoned by my desire for drugs and alcohol. It forced me to devote much of my time and energy trying to fulfill it. These desires enslave me and for years I have been crying out to no avail.
Finally, I have hit rock bottom and this life seems unbearable. I can’t take another second, minute nor hour in this state of mind.
Without thought right in my house while intoxicated I began to call out to God. In that moment, I was ashamed and embarrassed because I had called out to God many times before to deliver me and Him being God has delivered me on many occasions I each time He spared me, forgave me, delivered me and I turned back when I promised Him I wouldn’t. So, this time I couldn’t find the words and perhaps He had heard it all before.
Then these words proceeded from the pit spirit, “Help Me”! I NEED HELP! no long prayer, no elegant of speech or intellectual conversation just a desperate cry from a lost soul.
After that cry I went to bed and didn’t think the following day when I woke up things were different. I was walking to the front door and I heard audibly, “You’re Free.” I immediately looked around to see who said that but quickly I realized it was God himself declaring my freedom. It reminds me of a passage of scripture, Psalms 18:6
In my distress, I called upon the Lord, And cried to my God for help; He heard my voice out of His temple, And my cry for help before Him came into His ears.
He Heard My Cry!
I was excited and knew in my soul that I was free. I soon found out that what God had spoken to me he didn’t speak to the people around me. With joy in my heart I called my Dad to tell him all that happened and to my disappointment he laughed. That conversation taught me a lot and served notice that everyone won’t believe that God speaks to you nor will they believe that God will or can use you.
Chapter 7
Who Me?
It wasn’t long before I heard the Lord speak to me again.
I was half asleep and half awake and very clearly, I heard the Lord instruct me to go to the jail to fill out an application to volunteer for Bible Study.
I instantly responded, “Who Me?”! God, I have been convicted of multiple felonies and I’m pretty sure those folks won’t allow me to go behind them walls. Needless to say, I acted on the Word of God and as a result I was approved to go in to help these guys out with their class Reformers Unanimous. It wasn’t long before they asked me to speak and share my story. Once I did many were saved. As a result of that the word got back to the Chaplin and he offered me my own night. Shortly, after I began my own night the guy that I started off helping became my helper. We went from a group of 12 to 40 plus men in our class. I had to move from the classroom to the gym. I believe because of the success the Chaplin offered me a second day which was on a Sunday and I agreed.
It’s about 18 months since I have been doing this and everything is going great then I get another word from the Lord instructing me to start pastoring and once again m reply was, “Who Me?”
At that time, it appears every time I settle in and got comfortable God moved me. Although this was not my plan or anything I every prayed for I trusted the Lord concerning this.
One day I was looking in the newspaper and a non-denominational church had an opening for an Associate Pastor, so I contacted the person in charge and was offered the position.
Certainly, I was moving from faith to faith and God would manifest Himself every time I was obedient. Things began to happen that I never dreamed of and really began to understand what Jesus meant when he said, “Not my will but thy will be done.” You see, none of the plans were mine, I was walking in my already ordered steps.
It came a time when my church at the time purchased a building in Strasburg for 4 million dollars and as we were preparing to move God spoke again saying, “Ask to stay here to start a congregation”, and just like in times past I said, “Who Me?” I asked my Pastor and of course he allowed me to because God had already prepared the way.
Grace and Mercy Ministries was birthed because of a seed God deposited within me. It’s been 4 years now and it’s in that time many souls have been saved, many have been baptized, many have been set free from the Spirit of Addiction, many have been delivered from generational curses, sexual perversions, molestation, rape and abuse.
Deliverance is the children bread and although I didn’t know it when I first got started God truly used me to set the captives free. Along the way there has been many who have questioned my calling and my intentions but because my heart is pure and I have remained authentic, God has defended me in every trial.
The Grace that has been allotted to my life is not of my own. It belongs to the Lord.
God has done exceeding, abundantly and above all that I can imagine. Who would of thought that would love someone like me. Just to think that He thought I was worth saving.
As I write this tears are welling up in my eyes, my joy is full and I’m sure that victory is mines.
To all who are castaways, misfits, black sheep’s and forgotten one’s God has a plan for you to be great. If you are saying, “Who Me?” you are right where God wants you.
This is a Portion of my book that God is birthing in me. My prayer is that someone will be encouraged by this knowing that it doesn’t matter how you
Start because with Jesus all things are possible. I would like you to know that
Your past may be setting you for your future!!!!
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